the little things

Friday, January 29, 2010 @ 12:57 AM

argh.

saying you can do it is one thing, and really taking action is seriously another.

i suddenly realise how much bullshit i can say before i entered jc.
i felt so 'proud' of myself man.
i seriously thought i would be fine with the two years in it despite knowing that i'm an ultimate slacker ttm.
but then after my first day in tpjc, it really sucked.
50% may be due to the first day blues, 30% due to the fact that i didnt get in mjc.
the remaining will be most probably the boring subjects, pe and what not.

i definitely know that im being stupid if i were to appeal out because i will not be able to get into university.
but if i were to pursue being an interior designer, i see no point in going jc because apparently, from what i know, no university in singapore offers that.
but then again if i were to take accountancy, i would have to stay in jc and mug my ass off, like literally. because in order to be sure i got in, i must get at least 3As, or maybe even 4.
i know nothing about the chances of getting As, but it may be easy if i'm hardworking enough.
but given my o lvl experience, i can totally believe that i will end up getting at most 2As only.

i have also thought that all this crap about going to poly is temporary.
maybe i will like it in jc in few months time.
but i'm certain i will die! in these few months.
i will just feel fucking stressed and restricted.

but then again if i were to go to poly, i will have to sit through the whole orientation shit again, which sucks ttm.
and what if i get the same feeling as i'm having now?
if this really happens, i will just hate myself and i dont know what.

this decision making stuffs and adapting to new environment shit is ________. cant find a word.

and i tot im over sec sch life.
but hey! if you're in jc, you are totally not!
and getting to know a whole bunch of new people just makes it worse.

wow maybe if i really stayed in jc, this whole post would be crap and i would feel totally embarrassed by this.

oh, and if i were to appeal, i still have to sit through the whole of next week in jc. isnt it pointless too!?!?!?!? ARGH.

this shit destroyed my entire day. HATE IT WHEN I CANT MAKE DECISIONS.

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rachel 16
18 June 1993
rachel_rax1993@hotmail.com

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